Thursday, 15 March 2018

The Dales Who Chased Through Space!

The Dales Who Chased Through Space!

The Complete And Utter History Of Dr WHO? (Part Seventeen)

They was back and this time it was about a time machine!

As Dr Whoo fiddled with his adjustments, the Space-Time Televisualisationer showed many images of days gone by. Shakepaire were inspired by bacon and thus invented Hamlet and Lincoln practised his address though no-one seemed to be there to hear his actions.

Also Ewen danced in a flailing fashion on hearing a song by 'Those Beatles' that he had never heard before. Originally, it was planned that the band would be played as old men, but it would have required the story being in studio for something like fifty years, which was deemed unacceptable as 'Bob's Full House' had been pencilled in for 1984 and it would have all got a bit crowded.

But this were just a preamble to the third appearance of the Dales who had conveniently invented a Time ship that could travel through Time after Doctr Who's Time ship also. This story saw a mighty Chaste unfold that visited many a place.

There were a hot dessert wherein dwelt the Mired Beasts who had dangerous tentricles and also the Aridarryans who generally lived underground but come up when Ewen put a questing finger in their communal ring.

A Dale were actually buried in some sand for the cliffclanger and it were meant to be pulled out by a Land Rover (or 'Jeep' as they is sometimes called) but the rope were prone to snapping and it were left there in disgust before finally being uneathed by 'Time Team' in 1997 where Phil excitedly implored Tony to "Come and 'ave a look at this girt monster!" which caused much excitement amongst the bearded diggers.

TARDIST also landed on the Marie Rose ship which solved an ancient mystery and also atop the Umpire State Building whereby they met simpleton Morty Pill who were on a  visitor tour hosted by popular dishevelled detective Columbo in the days before he had his own series.

Following this they found themselves in Frankenstein's Castle which had an ominous fireplace. On the day they arrived, Count Dracula were also in residence, though this were not his usual adobe. as he would have to commute for his work.

Vichy got seperated and stole herself on board the Dale Timeship where she stumbled across a terrible plan to make a Robot Dr Who that looked vaguely like the original you might say. The two Doctors Who had a fight involving stout canes on the jungley planet Mechanicalus, which is a strange name as you would think it would be called Densevegetationus or something.

There was also some vicious mushrooms that loomed in a threatening manner but have so far led to little merchandise, apart from the 'Give-Yourself-A-Show' projector strips such as 'Dr Who And The Fearsome Fungi' and 'Dr Who And The Trouble With Toadstools'  which were something of a craze at the time.

Then they went up in a lift to a big city and met the Mechanicaloids (who had powerful arms and were geondesic, apparently)  and a Space Tailor called Stefan who had brung his hi-fi with him for entertainment purposes, which were quite forward-thinking of him, really.

Then there were a big fight between the Dales and the Mechanicaloids and the city burned down, but our heroes escaped by knotting Barababa's trousers together and shinning down them in order of seniority.

Then Ewen and Brabrabab decided they had had enough of this nonsense and went home in the Dale Timecraft though they had not reckoned on bus fares going up, which made Dr Who laugh like a drain!

This story gained many watchers at home, but soon Dr ho would be watched by a new and mysterious watcher when he went near an old cliff that was in the days gone by!

Next Episode:

"What is it?"

(By Andrew Trowbridge)

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