The Masticals Of St Botolph's End

The Masticals Of St Botolph's End

The Complete And Utter History Of Dr WHO? (Part Twenty-Three)

'Drktor Who And The Masseccles' is sometimes confused with 'Dr Whoo And The French Evolutions' in that they is both set in Gallic olden days with big hats, but really they is not that similar in that one is longer than the other and the pictures generally move in a normal fashion.

TARDIST done a landing in the time when 'The Brotherhold Of Apothecaries' were way ahead of their time, which is why we introduced the system of putting your clocks back and forth.

This story were introvative in that it gave William Hartley-Hare the chance to play an other part. He were casted as the Abbott Of Ambrose, who invented the skin on rice pudding, which demonstrates his cold unforgiving nature.

The Abbott Of Ambrose were identical to Dr Whoosh in appearance, apart from a different cloack and he did not have many lines. But he did have an memorable catchphrase which were "Give her to your men!", so that were something at least. When Stefan seed he were a dead ringer for The Docto Stefan said to himself "Yes, that is how I reasoned you would look!" but I think he were kidding himself really...

Also in this tale were Katherine De Medicine, who invented pink medicine, which were populist in the 1970s for sickly 'Doctorwho' fans, and I include myself in that. She were a devious plotter and were concerned with disposing of a Sea Beggar who had been annoying local tourists in the local area.

I do not see how being a Sea Beggar would work as if you dropped your loose change in the sea it would tend to fall to the Bottom, but there is a thing called Mermaids' Purses which may have some bearing on the matter.

Katharine Of Medicinal gave the order that The Seed Beggar should be run over with an Omnibus which was a new thing at the time. Later on, Omnibuses would be more common and would eventually get a spin-off series of their own that ran in black-and-white then colour. Then black-and-white and colour again for various rainsins. I know - I have checked!

There were a girl whose surname were An Chaplain and this would turn out to have a twist at the end. Her family had invented the bowler hat and twirly walking stick and generally had bowed legs. There were a silent bit of comedy in Episode Three ('The Deaf Priest') wherein Chaplain ate an old boot, but it were deleted by the Austrian censors on the ground that it were not really that funny and went on too long.

Episode Four ('The Clanging Chime Of Doom') had an sequence where all the music were done on woodblocks round the back of the British Museum which were critically criticised at the time for being too horrific, but I have listened to it and I have heard worse frankly.

Then the TARDIST come to modern times and Stefan went for a tramp in the park, but got thirsty and came back sharpish. Then a girl called Doo-Doo come in and Stefan said she looked like An Chaplain, but I still cannot see how that would work. She said she were of French Origins long ago, but she did not even have a bowler hat or anything!

But that is the way History works sometimes, which is a lesson to us all...

Next Episode:

"You do?"

(By Andrew Trowbridge)

The Faster Plan Of The Dales

The Faster Plan Of The Dales

The Complete And Utter History Of Dr WHO? (Part Twenty-Two)

Nerry National and Dentist Spoonbill were on holiday on a large rock in the middle of the ocean when they done this epical 12-part cereal.

They only had access to half a dozen sheets of paper, so they had to write really small, but even so they come up with a story that is generally considered to happen between 'The Myth Takers' and 'The Massicals'.

It started with Stefan having got a sword up him by the Trojans and he did not like it. Thus Dr Wh set sale for a planet on which they had Pils to ease his swellings. Catrino was also there as she was in search of a Perfect Place. I have been to Shanklin on The Isle Of Wights, and though I enjoyed Shanklin, i would not say it were Perfect, but there you go. Though there was a barn full of cider in Godshill, which were also quite good, though when we got back to the hotel, the plastic cup for washing your teeth in had a split in it and I got Bilberry Wine all over the eiderdown, which were embarrassing.

This story saw the Dales teemed up with The Magical Chin who Guarded the Solar System. I am not sure what he Guarded the Solar System from, possibly being loaded on the back of a lorry and driven away as would later happen to the TARDIST, but you would need a big lorry to steal the Solar Plexus and you'd probably hear it reversing and thus the Police would be called anyway. So frankly, I think The Magical Chin were playing up his impotence just to impress the Dales.

The Dales had a special can that were full of some Vital Ranium that were mined from Uranus. Thus took fifty years, apparently and no-one noticed, which makes me question what had distracted them for so long. I expect there were an ITV Telethon on or something as they generally go on for a very long time and can dull the senses.

The Vital Ranium powered the dreadful Time Deconstructor which could turn back time. If I could turn back time (if I could find a way) I would try and save the episnodes of this story as they themselves were Deconstructed, which is an irony.

One part of this tale were shown on Christmas Day, which happens all the time these days, but in those days it were a new thing altogether. Stefan went in a Police Station and dressed up as a Copper, which is not the same as Mr Copper, who was the man that didn't know much about History in 'Dr Who And The Titanic Ship' which were also on Christmas Day.

Then the TARDIST landed in a sawmill and it were sawed in half like in 'Laurel & Hardy And The Sawmill' but fortunately Dr WHo had some Evostick so it were all right in the end. By this point Catrino had been sucked off into Space, and Brent Viron had been shot, but I have not mentioned him before now, so I would not really worry about that.

Then The Fiddling Friar (or Peddling Punk as he may also be called) come to Egypt and disguised himself as a Mummy but then he landed on some ice and were out of the story.

Then The Tim Destructoid were activated and Sarah Kinsman aged to old age. And thus were Dales defeated!

Dorctor Who then complained that the planet were all dusty and he had got sand in his espadrilles. And so they went in search of the New Adventures...

Next Episode:

"You'll need that..."

(By Andrew Trowbridge)

"Get the right one in the right 'ole!"

"Get the right one in the right 'ole!"

Lisa roused me yesterday with something I took a few moments to process through the fuzz of a not-so-rude awakening. But as my eyes managed to focus, I was really rather touched by what was being thrust at me...

 The lovely and talented Martin Holmes (currently starring in Episode 20 of 'Round The Archives') had drawn a wonderful piece based on Gerald Scarfe's 'Yes Minister' caricatures, but with Jim, Bernard and Sir Humphrey replaced by two dodgy-looking sorts that seemed strangely familiar.

Watching the show, I always identified with Bernard - hesitant, but trying to do his best - and seeing us depicted in this way was a smashing surprise and made us smile all day. We cannot thank Martin enough for this and still find it very surreal - I'm grinning to myself even as I type this...

He's also provided us with a moody 405-line logo that is worthy of a proper grown-up show and not something daft knocked up on our sofa. We've never thought of 'Round The Archives' as a brand, but maybe we could do some mugs or T-shirts at some stage?

Well, if it works for Clayton Hickman... :-)

So hats off to Martin, demonstrating again his superb flair for all-round artiness. "Wow" is not a word I tend to use very often, but in this case I'll dust it down and give it an airing...

And speaking of dust...

We might not be able to draw, but we have been quite prolific on the video front in the last few days, so in case you're not sleeping at nights, worrying whether you've missed some innovative bit of visual material filmed in our second bedroom here's a quick round-up.

'Dustiny Of The Daleks' sees Lisa getting all dirty, sorting through some of our dustier 'Doctor Who' toys. We've got Daleks with limp plungers and me being unable to remember what a Carrionite was actually called. Though we quite like the idea of a story called 'Dr Who And The Lady Witch'... It has been pointed out that we have got a bit of innuendo going on in this one, but these things sometimes come up quite without prompting...

Next I must deeply apologise for my dreadful Drunken Acting, as I've only had a few ales. offisher (and they were 0.5% anyway). It seemed a good idea at the time, I suppose. This is simply a quick look at 'Fletcher's Book Of Rhyming Slang', a slim volume I never even knew existed until recently. It's a bit of an oddity, but that's not against the law, despite what 'Orrible Ives might say...

Finally, we zoom through 'Some Of Our Signed Doctor Who VHS Covers' which having now discovered some more after stopping recording, might well spawn a sequel. I hadn't realised quite how many we had collected over the years, but I guess no-one could accuse us of neeeding to Get Out More. I wonder how long we must have spent in autograph queues over the years? And to be honest, it was never about the actual autograph - being able to say hello to the people concerned was always much more important.

And for those who care about the numbers, we are proud to announce that our number of subscribers on YouTube has lurched into double figures. Sincere and heartfelt thanks to all 10 of you! :-)

Guess we'll have to keep going!

(By Andrew Trowbridge)

"It takes brains, you know. It takes brains!"

"It takes brains, you know. It takes brains!"

As anyone of a certain age what they remember about 'Fingerbobs' and it's a safe bet that at some point they'll mention That One With The Crow Putting The Stones In The Jug Of Water.

First broadcast on on 21st February 1972, 'Stones' was shown at 1.30 pm after 35 minutes of Malcolm Muggeridge asking The Question Why (which sounds as though it might get a little repetitive after the first thirty seconds or so).

This was a Monday, by the way, and also on that day on BBC One were the infamous 'Boomph With Becker' plus 'Sir Prancelot', 'Young Scientists Of The Year', 'Z Cars: Canal' and 'Steptoe And Son : Men Of Letters'. A pretty varied mix of stuff there!

There's actually a fairly tenuous connection with an earlier Galton & Simpson script and we'll get to that in a moment...

'Fingerbobs' is a cheap and cheerful show, relying on Rick Jones as Yoffy to hold the whole thing together, but he does a sterling job and he could never be accused of talking down to the kids.
This week Yoffy wants some stones, both to draw on with a felt-tip pen and as props in the story that makes up the later part of this episode.

Fingermouse is elected general dogsbody as usual and heads off past the ever-present winking ginger cat to the strange anonymous null-space that is the beach set. I never quite worked out the geography of the 'Fingerbobs' universe, but I'm assuming Yoffy's tabletop isn't that much of a hike away from the sea, otherwise I'd start to be concerned about poor old Scampi spending too long out of the water.

There are some uncredited feet and legs on display (does anyone want to make a guess at the owner of these?) but our canny rodent hero soon learns not to play with them and even gets to do a minor stunt that thankfully did not require the services of Terry Walsh in a mouse costume.

Enoch the woodpecker (who tends to get forgotten when people list the characters in 'Fingerbobs' and now I'm older he reminds me more of the logo on Woodpecker cider) gets to do some drilling with his beak,

fashioning some cart wheels that remind me of coconut ring biscuits. The chariot they construct looks a bit rickety, but it does the job, presenting Yoffy with a cargo of not-so-precious stones.

After a bit of drawing, we launch into the story of the crow and the jug of water which you probably all know backwards. Faced with a half-empy jug, the thirsty crow (who has rather bewitching multi-coloured eyes) thinks back to 'Hancock's Half Hour : The Big Night' wherein Tony's trip to the local laundrette saw him encounter Archimedes' Principle in Sam Kydd's washing machine.

So, the crow bungs some stones in and he can take a much-needed drink. Although I worry a bit about how the water seems to have got rather discoloured in the process and there are now some manky bits of grass floating about in it.

Yes, it's simple stuff, but done with an air of conviction. It's nice to have the DVD available and given the time it was made it's a minor triumph that it even exists.

Now, as for finding copies of 'Ragtime'...

(By Andrew Trowbridge)

The Enemy Of The World Special Edition DVD

The Enemy Of The World Special Edition DVD

From our point of view, 'The Enemy Of The World' has actually been discovered twice. The recovery of the complete set of 16mm film recordings in Nigeria made the news headlines in 2013 and I think we can all remember how excited we were. Toby Hadoke's bubbling enthusiasm on the Breakfast News sofa was something I could well identify with!

But several years down the line, the Special Edition of this story makes it to DVD and our copy was delivered yesterday. At least according to the email that Lisa received. However, there was no sign of it having made it through the letter box, and it wasn't on the front door step, as can sometimes happen.

So we had our own small Missing Episodes mystery to solve. There was a copy of 'The Enemy Of The World' awaiting discovery in Poole and the hunt was on to track it down!

The road layout round our way can be a trifle confusing, we admit. We live in a row of odd numbers (with no number 13 for, we presume, superstitious reasons) and we're at Number Eleven. However, our road branches off another one and our street sign is opposite  the Number Eleven in the other street - diagrams are available on request...

At least one friend who came to visit us nearly ended up knocking on the wrong door, so we always end up giving over-complicated directions just in case.

It was a faint possibility, but The Other Number Eleven might just have ended up with our copy of 'Enemy', so Lisa donned her Episode Hunting Coat and went to investigate. She didn't actually ask "Excuse me, but have you got any previously missing episodes of 'Doctor Who'?" but now I've thought of it I can't get the image out of my head.

As it happened, this was exactly the right place to look and we could not resist making a small video about our success.

If you've got the original release, is the Special Edition worth getting?

Absolutely, yes! As always happens, technology has marched on and the episodes themselves look and sound better than ever. With added audio commentary and production notes, the release is already ahead of its 2013 incarnation.

But full marks also for the contents of Disc Two - copies of the scripts and 'Radio Times' listings make for very interesting reading.

Ed Stradling and Toby Hadoke (with very fluffy clip microphone) have made 'Treasures Lost And Found' which is a 60-minute documentary with the aim of uncovering new information about the story. This is highly absorbing and ends on a lovely note which we will not spoil. And applause also for the framing device of a set of '3-2-1' style clues, which always scores points with us.

'Remembering Deborah Watling' is also a lovely piece of work and is a fitting tribute to someone we always loved seeing at conventions. Frazer Hines' innuendo-laden banter with her was the stuff of legend but she always came out on top.

The actual discovery of the story and the subsequent restoration work involved feature in 'Recovering The Past' and 'Restoring Doctor Who' and for completists, Jon Pertwee's links from the old VHS release 'The Troughton Years' are present and correct.

As expected, this is a very welcome addition to our DVD collection - hats off to everyone involved in allowing us to see a story that at one point seemed lost forever.

Fingers crossed for the future!

(By Andrew Trowbridge)