The Mission Of The Unknown Alien Delicates

The Mission Of The Unknown Alien Delicates

The Complete And Utter History Of Dr WHO? (Part Twenty)

This story are unique in that it features none of the cast who were regular. They had all bunked off for various reasons which meant that the production team had to make something up instead and since they still had some Dale props knocking about, this is what they used.

William Hartley-Hare had written the wrong dates in his dairy and were hop-picking in Kent that week. Stefan was already committed to the experimental silent 'Z Cars' episode 'Thursday Teatime' in which nobody spoke but made expansive gestures instead and Vichy were treading the boards in the futuristic farce, 'Whoops, There Goes My Sand-Beast!' in Frinton-on-Sea.

There were a couple of humanist characters in the form of Cowery (who done paintings of stick-like aliens in grimy Northern towns) and Lory who were a member of the Special Spaced-out Secret Society, which were just like the Space Police but with knobs on.

Although the story itself were destroyed shortly before it were made, Lory is seen to actually record this episode on cassette which is why it is now available on Compacted Disk, so that were a bit of luck really.

This tale saw the introduction of the Aaga plants who had viscous spikes. One had to be careful not to get a prick off them as you would be turned into one of them otherwise. In the Dale comic strips the Aaga plants were more mobile and descended from the skies in the so-called Hoverpots.

Viewers were confusted when this story did not continue the next week, as Dr Whi landed in the time of 'The Myth Takers' instead, but that should have really taught them to look at their 'Radiotimes' where such information were freely available, if you leafed through it in Smith's without actually buying a copy, as were standard practise at the time.

There was various Alien Delicates on display in this story and it is often confusing as to whom is which. It do not help that they come back in 'The Dale Faster Plan' and some of them seem to have swapped names and/or actors, which is proof about how none of them should have been trusted in the first place.

So we will go through them in order of seniority, to lay this matter to rest once and for all.

Firstly there were Prentis who come from an Outed Galaxy - his hobbies were experimenting unsuccessfully with time travel and weaving wooly jumpers. His favourite colour were taupe and his ambition were to run a pub in the country with a range of craft ales.

Then there were Montreal who were a keen campanologist and bird-watcher. He had a sweet tooth and always carried a supply of assorted jujubes in his Space Rucksack.

Maltster were next and he were interested in far and distant things. He had previously worked in retail and was skilled in wickerwork. He were allergic to coconuts which is why there were no coconuts in this story.

Wimmoway were a slipperly customer at first sight. When asked what his favourite author was he would give different answers on different days - one day it would be George and Weedon Grossmith, the next it would be Edgar Wallace. However, if you got to know him, you would learn that he were not doing this out of any malice, he simply looked for the good in things generally.

Hubbabubba had an enormous space vessel which led to some ribald comments. What the other Delicates did not perhaps know was that he had won it on a Game Show in the Space Year 4000 and was looking to sell it through Exchange & Mart at the earliest opportunity as when he parked it outside his house there was a big shadow cast in the living room after about three in the afternoon.

Pallyass brought up the rear, but that is merely because he were delayed getting there by having to take in a parcel for the next-door planet and he also had to sign for it. This demonstrates that he were a considerate sort of fellow and perhaps were not suited to a life of Galactic Domination, though he were prepared to have a stab at it and see how it went.

Thus were assembled the greatest war force ever assembled, apparently. Personally, I think that were placing too much faith in them but you have to work with what you've got, I suppose.

And so ended Dr WHo's adventure picking hops in Kent...

Next Episode:

"What is this?"

(By Andrew Trowbridge)