The Masticals Of St Botolph's End

The Masticals Of St Botolph's End

The Complete And Utter History Of Dr WHO? (Part Twenty-Three)

'Drktor Who And The Masseccles' is sometimes confused with 'Dr Whoo And The French Evolutions' in that they is both set in Gallic olden days with big hats, but really they is not that similar in that one is longer than the other and the pictures generally move in a normal fashion.

TARDIST done a landing in the time when 'The Brotherhold Of Apothecaries' were way ahead of their time, which is why we introduced the system of putting your clocks back and forth.

This story were introvative in that it gave William Hartley-Hare the chance to play an other part. He were casted as the Abbott Of Ambrose, who invented the skin on rice pudding, which demonstrates his cold unforgiving nature.

The Abbott Of Ambrose were identical to Dr Whoosh in appearance, apart from a different cloack and he did not have many lines. But he did have an memorable catchphrase which were "Give her to your men!", so that were something at least. When Stefan seed he were a dead ringer for The Docto Stefan said to himself "Yes, that is how I reasoned you would look!" but I think he were kidding himself really...

Also in this tale were Katherine De Medicine, who invented pink medicine, which were populist in the 1970s for sickly 'Doctorwho' fans, and I include myself in that. She were a devious plotter and were concerned with disposing of a Sea Beggar who had been annoying local tourists in the local area.

I do not see how being a Sea Beggar would work as if you dropped your loose change in the sea it would tend to fall to the Bottom, but there is a thing called Mermaids' Purses which may have some bearing on the matter.

Katharine Of Medicinal gave the order that The Seed Beggar should be run over with an Omnibus which was a new thing at the time. Later on, Omnibuses would be more common and would eventually get a spin-off series of their own that ran in black-and-white then colour. Then black-and-white and colour again for various rainsins. I know - I have checked!

There were a girl whose surname were An Chaplain and this would turn out to have a twist at the end. Her family had invented the bowler hat and twirly walking stick and generally had bowed legs. There were a silent bit of comedy in Episode Three ('The Deaf Priest') wherein Chaplain ate an old boot, but it were deleted by the Austrian censors on the ground that it were not really that funny and went on too long.

Episode Four ('The Clanging Chime Of Doom') had an sequence where all the music were done on woodblocks round the back of the British Museum which were critically criticised at the time for being too horrific, but I have listened to it and I have heard worse frankly.

Then the TARDIST come to modern times and Stefan went for a tramp in the park, but got thirsty and came back sharpish. Then a girl called Doo-Doo come in and Stefan said she looked like An Chaplain, but I still cannot see how that would work. She said she were of French Origins long ago, but she did not even have a bowler hat or anything!

But that is the way History works sometimes, which is a lesson to us all...

Next Episode:

"You do?"

(By Andrew Trowbridge)