Oh... William!

Oh... William!

"Bit short, innit? We need more kings..."

This is. of course. what William the First (otherwise known as William The Conqueror or - behind his back - William the Bastard) sings in the wonderful 'Horrible Histories' Kings and Queens song.
I thought I'd use the song to talk about some of the kings and queens mentioned, in addition to the more well-known monarchs such as Henry the Eighth or Queen Victoria.

But what of William Rufus (otherwise known as William the Second)? He was William the Conqueror's eldest son (as mentioned in the song) and was killed in a hunting 'accident' in the New Forest in 1100. He was succeeded by his younger brother Henry the First, who may had have a hand in his brother's death. We once got very excited whilst on a bus replacement service when we saw a sign for the Rufus Stone which marks the place where he fell.

Henry the First lost both of his sons in the wreck of The White Ship and made his daughter Matilda his heir. He died in 1135 of food poisoning after eating too many lampreys. Like you do.

As a female, Matilda was deemed unfit to rule (!!!), so the throne was passed to her cousin Stephen, leading to civil war (known as The Anarchy) from 1139 onwards. In the end Matilda's son Henry Plantagenet was named Stephen's heir.

Before we move onto Henry the Second, there's an interesting fact about his great-grandfather William the Conqueror... After he died, his body exploded. And during the 'Horrible Histories' spin-off 'Gory Games' the contestants had to try and steal items from around William's body before it exploded and they were covered in gore.

Henry the Second was a popular king until the death of Thomas Becket (Archbishop of Canterbury) for which he was blamed.  Henry's sons included Richard The Lionheart and 'Bad' King John.
Richard spent very little time in England and was quoted as saying that he would have sold London had he found a buyer. John (aka 'Lackland') was excommunicated by the Pope and forced by his barons to sign the Magna Carta.

John's son Henry the Third rebuilt Westminster Abbey, although if you believe the subtitles in the song he worked on something called 'the RB'. Hmm...

After this comes a trio of Edwards. The first, Edward Longshanks, was known as the Hammer of the Scots. Edward the Second was deposed by his wife and her lover and killed in Berkeley Castle by a red hot poker (not the popular type of flower!), which as the song says, must have hurt him lots.

Now I'm not going to go through the whole of the rest of the kings and queens of England as this would make for a very long blog entry. But other memorable monarchs include Henry the Fifth and Richard the Third. I love the face the latter pulls when he is described as 'Bad' during the song.

We also have Henry the Seventh, his shortlived grandson Edward the Sixth and   grandaughters Mary and Elizabeth the First.  And some of the lesser known kings and queens such as Mary the Second who ruled with her husband William and her younger sister Anne.

Then we have the often missed William the Fourth who ruled directly before Victoria and had been a sailor and had 10 children (no wonder his eyes bulged out!) with his mistress Mrs Jordan, an actress.

The Kings and Queens song is well worth a look and I can guarantee that you will be humming it for the rest of the day.

(Written by Lisa Parker)