With Songs And Sketches...

With Songs And Sketches...

We don't always manage to cram one in, but where possible I like to start off a new Episode of 'Round The Archives' with a silly sketch of some sort, which hopefully has someting to do with one of the shows we're going to feature.

In true Douglas Adams fashion, the 'Juliet Bravo' sketch was written five minutes before we were due to record it, but it didn't seem to suffer too much once we'd got past the odd fit of giggling.
We use most of the stuff that gets written, but sometimes an idea doesn't quite come off for one reason or another.

I've just unearthed a missing sketch that I was vaguely hoping might be used to finish off Episode Thirteen, which opened with our take on 'The Herbs' and also featured a chat with Mr John Challis, recorded at the Food Festival in Poundbury.

The weather that day was awful and combined with a very loud PA system and lots of people quite rightly wanting to buy a book or two off John, I never even mentioned it to him, and it would have been almost impossible to record properly given the conditions that day.

It sees Boycie in agricultural mode as seen in 'The Green Green Grass' popping up at 'RTA' Headquarters with a proposal and this is the first time it's seen the light of day...

ANDREW: Lisa, why's there a strange man in our garden?

LISA: What, stranger than you, you mean?

ANDREW: The funny thing is, he looks familiar, somehow...

JOHN: Good morning, peasants! Farmer Boyce here!

LISA: Oi, who are you calling 'peasants'?

JOHN: I do apologise, I mistook you for simple farming folk.

ANDREW: Wearing smocks and cheqing straw, I suppose?

JOHN: Whatever takes your fancy.

LISA: What exactly are you doing here?

JOHN: I've come here hotfoot from Poundbury, with a proposal for you.

ANDREW: Oh yes?

JOHN: I was just admiring how you've devoted your garden to set-aside. It's got a real organic theme to it.

ANDREW: Not really - we just can't be arsed to cut the lawn.

LISA: Every now and then I get a man in.

JOHN: Yes, Marlene acts in a similar fashion, so I'm told... But I'm digressing. I was wondering if you'd be prepared to let me cultivate certain herbs of a lucrative nature in one of your shadier corners?

LISA: This sounds dodgy already...

ANDREW: Mmmm.

JOHN: "Dodgy"? What do you take me for?

ANDREW: Our lawyers have advised us not to comment.

LISA: You do know that one of our production team is also a policeman, don't you?

JOHN: Ah, the reliable boys in blue! Evening all!

LISA: Who also lives not a million miles away.

JOHN: Oh... I see...

ANDREW: So about these valuable herbs, then?

JOHN: Er, yes... On second thoughts, I've decided to urgently review my business plan. You wouldn't care to invest in my used-car dealerships instead, would you?

LISA: No thank you. Not today.

JOHN: No, I thought not.

ANDREW: Bye-bye, Boycie! Don't forget to shut the garden gate on your way out.

The garden gate bit at the end is a nod to the way Parsley used to wave goodbye at the end of 'The Herbs' and I might have recorded the sound of our gate shutting to give it a touch of realism, or as near as we get.

So there you go, a little extra for you next time you listen to Episode Thirteen.

Unlucky for some?

(Written by Andrew Trowbridge)