"We Are Going To Do Good To People!"

"We Are Going To Do Good To People!"

Well, it's official - the entire BBC run of 'The Goodies' is coming to DVD from Network in what looks like an absolutely superb package including two books by Andrew Pixley and three CDs of musical bits and pieces. It's been rumoured for ages, but I think it's been well worth the wait.

The first ever episode (which the earlier DVD release called 'Tower Of London' but is also known as 'Beefeaters') doesn't waste too much time in explaining the format of the show. There's a brief demonstration of the abilities of the office to apparently generate instant extra rooms via the miracle of CSO and some concern that Bill may have placed the adverts in too wide a range of publications ('Man's Thing', 'Womans's Thing', 'Rubber News'...), but it isn't long before they get their first job. Even if the message has to be delivered via the old lady who lives downstairs...

The trandem makes its first appearance with a complicated launching routine that takes so long to film you can see a bloke and a white van make an unscheduled cameo in the background at one point. But safety first, even if it does mean wearing a ridiculous strap-on warning light on your head.

Arriving at the Tower of London, our heroes meet chief Beefeater George Baker who relates a tale of woe. Somone is stealing all the beef and his men are wasting away despite his best efforts with corned beef sandwiches. The kitchen is a pretty dangerous place, actually, with hazards galore including a ceiling-mounted axe that nearly takes out Tim at one point.

Returning to the office, Graeme attempts to work out who might be behind it this devilish scheme, though his computer is of little use. Rather more help is Bill, who has miraculous visions when he sucks on his Sherbet Fountain. A set of silly sci-fi headphones casts the images to the Magic Window and although there are some pictures we'd better not speak of, it soon becomes clear that this is something to do with the Crown Jewels...

In no time at all, the last two Beefeaters have wasted away to nothing and it's now the advert break, which this week features the Goodies Tea Set and Tim as the Fairy Puff Man.

Graeme comes up with an inventive burglar alarm (I do like the big fizzing cannon with the 'HANDS UP!' sign on it), although it doesn't actually seem to activate when a bloke turns up in a striped top, carrying a bag marked SWAG. It transpires that he is a Burglar By Royal Appointment and he is not in this alone.

Outside, a mysterious figure on horseback with crown and polo gear engages the threesome in the obligatory chase sequence on film, with a few unexpected members of the public again popping up in the distance. The perils of filming in exotic locations such as the local park, I suppose.

The mystery man eventually makes for Buckingham Palace and the Goodies come to the conclusion that maybe they've landed themselves in hot water.

Thankfully, Black Rod (played by Gertan Klauber doing his best Brian Blessed impression) and his two chums (one of whom seems to be called Maynard, which Andrew Pixley says is a nod to 'The Simon Dee Show' of all things) arrive to deliver a message that the Royal Family are not in any way cross, despite our heroes attempting to thwart the Crown Jewels being returned from the pawn shop.

First episodes can be tricky blighters and you sometimes have to make allowances as the format hasn't quite settled down. But this one is pretty confident all round - the story is decent enough and the film sequences work, despite being obviously cheaper than later, more elaborate set-ups.

"Anything, anytime" is what it says in Bill's advert (which was pretty much the pitch to the BBC in the first place) and this vagueness is actually not a bad idea. There's no clue as to where the show might go next week and lots of room for inventive situations.

We've already cleared some space on our shelves for this release, though given the size of it, maybe we should get a man in to put some new shelves up...

(By Andrew Trowbridge)